Twisted.

Hehs...
Sometimes stories can be so twisted,
Emotions will run wild at times But,
As long the objective is met it doesnt really
so much bahs??

Yea...
Aniways Contents nt very nice to reveal.
well, i just dun like this kinda things.
Now are "you" are sure i can take care of ur
darling sister??
And darling ...No more le okay??

Aniways anithin tht happen later i totally gt no mood,
No Mood ...to go bak on tht topic.

Hehs...
As predicted,
Life wouldnt be always high up.
In an instant it can be down low..

Towards the end of the day things are turning out fine,
and i'm really glad it did. (:

Well...it's been a heavy EMO day fer me,
Dunt even wanna think abt wad i did was rite or wrng,
dun even wanna share it with readers tht dont knw wad happen.
Gonna bury this soon...

Aniways i'll update more whn de feel for the blog is bak.
Guess for nw i'll MIA fer Blog.
Stay Tune~

Heys honey,
Thxs fer Forgiving me.
I'll try nt to that again.
Love ya Honey ^^
kisses x33

*Doesn't Pay To Be Kind*

You Never Try , You'll Never Know...

Yea i knw..
I'm weak,alot of things ppl can do i cant do.
Ppl can do leg splits whn thy were young,
but i cant.
But for this i really dunmind coz,
Once u're in a arena juz u & me,
just wait u'll see (:

But tht's nt wad really bothers me all the time.
i FAILED.
To giv wad is most important to a girl,
Especially to my Poor Girl,
i've never given her a sense of Security ever since...
28.02.2008.
SO wad if i'm a charmer??
SO wad if i'm forgiving,understnding & all??
So wad??
i cant give smeone i Love so much,
Something tht is really important to her.
To let her feel secure,
let her feel safe.
Y cant i...??

Well on the other hand i just ASKED,
Wilson to not do this animore coz i really dun like it.
If he doesnt listen or continues ...
Maybe hav to take action soon.

I've been thinking so much smwhw it leads to me asking myself,
"Am i de one tht brought this troubles unto you..."

Aniways Overall,
Gonna tke up Security Classes.
Gonna go for Intensive Training soon.
Lastly i'm gonna tke up my sword Once again...

*Did i Over-Love you ???*

Game-Less , Love-More

Here's a Post finally after such a long time :D
Trust me,This post is intresting...

Past few days darling and i had really Enjoyed ourself,
Of coz some problematics thingy did pop-out outta nowhere...
Well i guess things workout (:
Had Our times together pretty sweet,
Sharing the past of us,
growing more understanding to one another as time goes by.
Really happy to see her gettin cheerful as days goes by,
though Bad things do happen but still...
i'm still gonna stay by her side all dhe way!

<33 Darling x33

Most recent And Best Topic was TaeKwonDo training.
It's a real Long & Painful...
Got kicked on my "Birdy" with a HIGH RAISING,
WITHOUT guard >.<
Lucky it's still Functioning (:
Well at least i gave them some Painful ones too :P
Looking forward to better improve my skills,
Chiong ahs!!

Hehs,
2days since i touched Cabal.
Guess i'll try my best to stay away from it yar??
Game-Less , Love-More
i'm gonna give in more of my time to her,
Even if it's just tht 1 sec,
It's THAT important.

Will Love Darling,
Love Darling,
Loving Darling,

Other readers stay tuned For this kinda,
"BIRD Shocking" News (:
cya~

Shooting Star Has Landed.

Hehs.
Things are starting to look up for everyone!
Tht's a gd thing (:
Sad to say still sme bloody spoilers arnd.
To Him i say : _|_ : i say to Him

Well This shooting star had been flying arnd in search
place to settle dwn.
Flying through Universe,Space & Time.
Well Wad do you knw?!
SHOOTING STAR LANDED!!!
where?!
Right at your heart baby girl...right at your heart.

Aniways,
Life's so far so good.
Chocolate Dreams everyday,
And of coz wit Ddear by my side Evryday!

It's more thn enough.
<333 I Love you. Jessica Tan Yan x333
kisses,
huggss,
misses,
Lovess,
Darling.

I Need To Change, i have to...

Things you'll do for someone you love.
I didnt know my darling baby was in in Need of Me.
I Have to change.

Change that is,i am trying (:

Aniways past few days we've been quarelling and yea...
it isnt vry good.
Plus most of the quarrels are on small small topics.
After some soul-searching i couldn't help blaming myself,
I've been ill-tempered,
Becming Possesive and..
I actually made her felt pressured.
Yes i know darling ,it's not my fault,dont blame myself.
i'm juz writing this out as a reminder to myself (:

I'm Changing for Good (:
I'm Changing... For My Love :D

Have been thinking on wad to do,wad to change...
Yea i tink i've got it and now i'll slowly get into momentum.

And so yea...Now i'm in school doing this post.
Missed my darling ,
Not gonna see her for the whole of Today But AT LEAST!!

i can hear my darling baby's sweet voice :D

I HATE BEING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's This "over-sensitiveness" that helps me gt to you.
It's this "over-sensitiveness" that almost chased you away.

WHY CANT IT JUST GO AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tears Falls as the Shooting Stars Will...

I know...i could nv say enough sry,
To cover wad i did.
I wont expect you to forgive me becoz i know,
It's me.
I thought i am,all along such a gd guy,
those tht are sensible,sweet or anithin
good tht i should be.
But now i know...
Wad a Bastard tht i've Just been.

On Tonight i broke a Promise i once made to myself.
That is:
"i am never going to drop another single tear
for my relationship anymore"
That was wad i said to myself when i broke up with Josephine.

I once promised myself for Jess,
I am never going to treat her badly.
I am never going to let her suffer animore.
I will not let the same thing to happen again.

Look wad i did.
I broke my promises,
i nv took care of her well enuf,
i've let her suffered,
i yelled at her.
Yes you're right,no point giving excuses.
But on tht point of time i really didnt want to hang up.
I really want to know how are you feeling and
i wanted to try and make it up to you...

But in the end y dear...
Among all the things...
why did you not tell me
you're sad,
you're dissapointed,
your feelings tht time and just hung up...

I can Hear things like,
"you know Jess's pretty dissapointed bout you?!"
after smedays or smetimes.
Why??...Why after so many times you promised you'll tell me,
And you still didnt??
And you just told me to ...tkecare eat & go slp...

i know now...i suxs.

(Posted b4 CallBack.)

A Night at East Coast & 1st half of 9th April.

Alright,
B4 going to East Coast i fetch Ddear off school (:
Raining Cats & Dogs , chilling winds too.
(scared cold)
Waited fer Ddear with an umbrella,but it doesnt seem
to be much of a use aniways.
Hehez,Basically we played in the rain :P
It was fun!! hadn't really done so for a long time,
But now with darling arnd...Hiak Hiak!!
yar well we're totally wet ...
After tht we saw Rafiq,
Slacked wit him,
thn after tht went to borrrow PSP frm Hongkai.
After tht went hme to change,
Met up Ddear and sent her off for tuition (:
of coz along wit Joey too.
Thn after sent ddear off to tuition went to CWP.
hehs..sry guys i am LATE by...45mins?? :P

The Night at East Coast was vry nice,and tiring...
earlier part of the nite i kept thinking of Ddear,
keep wondering wad she's doing,whether she's alrite?,
whether she's lonely.
Cant help grabbing my phne closely to me.
sorry the wallpaper was too atractive =x
Aniways i called up Darling at 12.30 remind her to slp early,
Well i guess she was asleeeped (:

PLayed Cards for an hour plus or so,
ended pretty bored so we started telling ghost story.
It was really freaky becoz i gt 2 frens there,
whu knows how to "jump god" .Thy sensed "smething" was NEARBY.
Not only thy 2,all 5 of us...we all felt tht uneasiness.

Thn we decided to leave tht place and carry on to Mac,
suprisingly "smething" followed us to MAC!!
We are trying our best tht time nt to gt "excited" >.<
Thn after smetimes tht feeling eased.
intresting ehs~

Had Breakfast at MAC .
Really intresting & funny.
After tht we went off to the beach to watch the beautiful,
SUNRISE!!
took pictures throughout the whole Sunrise.
of coz this feeling of wishing you were there...
OHH!! 4gt to mention,the stars there are really beautiful too!
i'm sure there'll be a day where we'll see this TOGETHER (:

Thn later we took taxi home.
Now tht i'm home,
i'm tired,drained,wadeva u can tink of...
BUT!! nt hitting da' Beds!!

I'm gonna Hang on till my darling release frm skool
i'm gonna go fetch her.
(pictures will be uploaded ASAP.)

i guess tht's all abt it.
The other half of the day we'll see how (:
cya~ *yawns* @.@

Clara's House Visit

Hehs!
Today go my Nu'er Clara de place,
CONDO WOR!!! Wakakakakakaz!!
At Bkt Batok,With Ddear,Zuohao.
SO total 4person ahs.
Had lots of activities today in her condo.

Had a hard time passing Her Grandmother,
coz i gt dyed fringe...KNS...
Well,still passed and went in the house and ate
ITALIA NOODLE!!(dont know how to spell)
Thn after eating went down to the pool for swimming...
More lik drowning & playing rather thn really swimming,
coz all dont know hw to...
Keep burping in the water >.<

Thn today thought Ddear dunwan care bout me,
keep looking to her side,
trying to make her ply,
thn she keeps lik duncare thn lik sianded...
LoL,thn i no choice go gay wit Zuohao luh...
But seriously i understnd u dunwan let nu'er AhMa know,
But aso no need duncare to even cme talk to me a little,
hardly even smile back... ):

Aniways Later hav go to toilet for Sauna!!
Kaoz..LvL1 heat i inside sweat until Sweat pool cme out...
Bt ddear say i gt less pimple,look nicer XP
thn i find tht i slimmed down :P
Played walls knocking in the sauna :D

Well after we all got changed ddear saw me EMO,
thn finally cme tok to me luh :)
Well aniways i'm juz glad to hav spent time with her.
i hope she enjoyed today :)

Ddear i'm always here for you,
wadeva troubles it maybe,
call me i'll be there.
MK everyday keeps Strss AWAY~~~

Class outing(2nd April) , TOday(3rd April)

EL0801p
ICT yr 1.
Class Outing = BBQ
Turnout: Half a class.

Heeeeehz...Overall it's still Fun.
Nothing much really Happened down there except a fren of mine,
brought his girlfren along ended she flirting with another guy.
Of coz for tht our class decided to help him so we XiaLun wit
tht bastard.
other thn tht,
it was eating,drinking,joking and of coz,
relaxing...

sitting by the rocks,looking out towards tht vast Ocean,
breeze carrying away my troubles,bringing calmness back to me..

well...This is it.
Here :





























Heeeez weeell tht's the end of my Class outing day (:

Today...Hmmmm...Let's start off with the bad things so Far.
As i'm speaking now THEY are still nagging.at whom?? ME.
Simply becoz of my Bro's prob...AGAIN!!
For 3 mnths..3 MONTHS!!
My bro attendance in skool is only 2 mnths...
see properly ok 2 MONTHS!!!
And whu get's scolding??? ME?!
as my father was scolding him half-way.
He scolds me for today coz my bro nv go skool(yes he skips again.)
one eg. :
"i call home so many times today!!never pick up!!Thn tht guy inside SLEEP UNTIL LIK PIG(me) !! ASO NEVER PICK UP!!ONI KNOW HOW EVERYDAY RUN OUT(me)!!DONT KNOW HW TO LOOK AFTER THT SMALL BROTHER!! YOU 2 ALL USELESS!! BIG ONE LIK THT(me)SMALL ONE ASO LIK DAT!!"
hehs...Thts it for now...at least..their still scolding and yelling away...
From the looks of it seems lik it's stopping soon.

Well here are some of the happy things tht happened today...
HERE!! :

Photos taken by: Liew Zhi Xiang
Hehs...Tht's all about it.
Really Misses our time together ddear...
Well...
Other thn scoldings and my Ddear.
Nothing else...
Tht's all.
Cao~

Heh...i cant sleep!!!

Kaoz...jialat.
It's been lik centuries since i last felt so
,stress,confused,blur,desperate,pressure...wadeva it is.
This feeling...is really giving me hard time.

Gal,i've still gotta say 1st.
No matter wad,i'll hang on.
Be it wadeva Problems it's gonna be,
i will not give up.

I know wad i wanted all along ddear.
It's you gal...
it's you...
Other thn you i really dun wish to think about
other things no more,
which in the end i still did...

I've been so clear of this religion thing all along.
I'm a buddhist,and i'm gonna stick to it.
But i'm learning Christianity so far (:
Ddear u once told me,u juz wanted ur love ones to know...
This believe tht you're dedicating ur life to,
i know.
Even if tht's the case,even if i'm learning,i'm intrested,
i believe it's true and all...Doesnt mean i have to be a chritian rite?
i know you didnt force,but i want you to know...
Not being one Doesnt mean i dont understnd wad it's all abt.

I just dont wanna disapoint you...
i felt myself crushed under ur question,
y?? coz i really Love you so much tht i dont wanna
give a answer which will make u sad or disapointed.
Although we do not believe in the same religion,
But we believe in our Love for one another.
Being True,
At least,
I can Love you whole-heartedly,
w/o feeling guilty of anithin.
Juz purely Love.

It's just tht i really felt,
so full of stresses...
Tht's y i wanna write it out.
Sry dear...
Tht's so much i can think of...
i juz hope after a nights slp i would be better,
of coz plus a dream of you & me wld be Best (:
Right now i juz feel lik stabbing myself off to bed,
my darling,i know u'll understnd wad i mean,
but i still wanna say sorry coz i've yet again,
brought you nohting bt disapointment.
sorry...
"Loving you with all my Heart~"

The rest of the Day.

A day for the fools...
yar u gt tht right,i fell fer the april fool trick.

"Hello you are MK rite?? Jess gt admitted to the hospital."
Wth...
Yea i believed.coz it's 2.4km run fer her.She's nt vry physically strong,
But she has this undying will tht wants to run...
Ddear,dun run 2.4 so chiong luh...Chiong to me still ok uh..

Well aniways,XingJuan told me this.She's in hospital,phne wit her,and dont know which Hsopital.

Kaoz.after hung up,i was so panicked!!
i asked Chee:
"hey can we find smeone directly on which hospital thy admitted?"
he said "no lar"
jialat jialat...
So i juz wanna go Tan Tock Seng ask 1st.thn later on to others.
As i was about to leave Mac. "and tell MK it's april fool"
COOL HUH?!!

Well ,so long as u're happy i dont mind (:
Happy aprils fool.

Thn later on meet up wit ddear at KFC,
meet up with other frens,

sorry ddear i dont mean to be moody de,
juz i really dont wan her to feeel left out and all.
Thn this family prob things aso.
But it's gonna be alright soon (:

Hmmm...missed my darling much today uh...

Darling WO AI NI~
x33333

wad a morning..

Here's a post as promised to my ddear (:
The time now is 10.20am,
sorry darling i cant complete this post YET.
well...my brother nv go schol today,
KNS.
Thn still gt the cheek to tell me:
"today oni lar~!!,tmr sure go lar!!"
"today i no mood,"
"nvm,teacher say as long as gt MC can le.Now i go see Doct."

Thn my parents later call me and scold scold scold shout shout shout..
at whu??
at ME!!

wad my bro get??
"aiyo..u ok anot??"
cheebye..
Sibei Dulan..

Ddear i'll post again tonight ok?? sry
x33333
Wo Ai Ni. <333