i've returned to my blog ...

ya knw...
actually there's alot of things in my mind i wanna write,
but my brain juz hurts lik shit nw (:

hahas life's been normal (not until recently)
things lik i've accepted Jesus Christ into
my life.
things like participated Outreach event of CHC.

Well here's the thing tht juz happened recently..
the beggining of the story is tht my brother owes smeone 300m(mesos)
according to my father discussion with tht smeone,
i'm suppose to "clean my bro's ass".
Now tht responsibility of 300m mesos is on me.
i've gt 1month time to get tht mesos..
i knw i could never do it on my own...
i've tried asking help from my sworn bro,
thy've contributed,thy slogged thier life for me.
thn i've gt nobody else to turn to animore,
so i let down my pride i approached my girl for help.
in the middle things were rather smooth verbally,
estimated to hav 300m no sweat.
things ends up today :
i've got a good scolding from baby.
(baby : i said u condemn me,nt ur phnecalls. )
in between u wanted me to let u help,
i'm glad and grateful.
u told me to trust ue..
i did..
so i did nothing.
(baby : it's true,i fuckcare the whole mesos thing)
i knw u've slogged ur life for me.
...
i'll cut my feelings away for tht would be too long and i'm going crazy
...
the fact is,
yes i heckcared bout mesos thingy,
i nv gave a damn to save up for the mesos thing,
i nv bothered much aboutit..

it really hurts me when ue dont knw tht i rather have those money spend
on you thn returning tht debt..
where all my money gone???

i'll tell ue where,
on the smile of ur face...

i really wanna cry my heart out,
i knw wad i did was wrong...
so i've nv argued back.

i wont regret the choice i've made even this happened..
a smile on your face is worth it all...


baby i'm sorry i failed as a boyfriend..
nights..