What the heck anyways...

It's been so long since i really wanna blog.
I even forgot my blog address !! >.<
What the heck anyways...

Finally got the mood to post something,
better do it quick. Past few times always
ran outta mood halfway through,
Not gonna happen TODAY!
Well...What the heck anyways..

I've also been thinking alot recently,
i think too much to the extend that even
I myself knows i'm thinking too much >.<
What the heck anyways...

What i'm about to share is very personal !

For two times i've been into a relationship,
and for this two times i've given all my heart.
I'm not asking for anything from anyone,
not asking much from anyone. It just seems that
when everything comes to an end, it's just
like that... Nothing.
I've never seem to be that something deep in
your heart, it just seemed like my love is
only that much to you...
I know i may not be somebody who can spend
money like water,can be there anytime anywhere.
i know i may not be good-looking and etc..
All i know is that i've given my whole heart
into it, and it doesnt seem to be appreciated
very much.
Aiya What the heck anyways...

Nobody owes me any sorry and i dont need no
sorry. I love out of my own will and i do not
regret it,and will not regret it.

I suddenly remembered this question..
you asked me :"To be love or be love ...
which one do you think is more better/blessed ?"
And awhile ago after me and Jess broke up,
my dad told me:"It is always better to BE LOVE,
then to love someone."
For a short while i thought to myself,
IT's TRUE! but not...
I remembered my answer to Jess before..i said
"It is more blessed/better to Love then to be Love."

And it will never change no matter how many failed
relationships i have to go through...
May God help me remain strong in this sentence and
that no matter what happens, i'll never forget it.

Now my life is just dead...
Christmas no longer means anything...
Grrrr...What the heck anyways.
Nobody will even know my blog lahs >.<

WHAT THE HECK!!!
so be it...

My only last request.

Back awhile ago, i'm still wondering if i did the right thing.
Now i know, It was the right thing to do.

I don't need to know what other people think about it,
I don't need people to know my heart,
all i cared about was you and only you alone.
I just feel broken on how you see my heart,
i thought i had been doing good for you,
i always thought my heart of sincerity and love,
you always felt,but now i guess not...


it doesnt really matter now coz it happens all the time.

I sincerely hope that things will turn out better
for you.

i won't expect anyone to believe my heart and my words,
but even you don't...