.....

Dont bother.
i couldn't be like how others can.
It's like i always said, im just
a sucker.

i couldnt be so great like wha you
would do for me.
Plus, i really dont deserve it at all.

no point debating on,
conclusion,
i'm no good to you, no good for you.
i'm a ungrateful bastard and doesn't
care about you.


yeaps, so i guess that should be enough
to answer everything and we need not
raise this matter again anymore.

my turn to say...
FML FML FML FML!
!@$#*!)$^@#!#!@##!@!@@Y*@$^*&^*#!&^#@&*!#^@

Disappointed

After so much that has happen,
i can tell that everything was just
me lying to myself.
Guess it wasn't always sweet sweet love
for you, i'm too naive to always thought
i have given, have loved, have cared and
understood you enough.
Now i truly know it was NEVER.

It is my fault for not taking out time
spending quality time with you. But i will
not accept it that if you say guys do NOT
know it.
Since that i never understood and never
given and loved you enough, i rather you
leave me be and forget me ASAP and get on
your way to find someone better.
Don't make things so hard for yourself,
save yourself all the heartbreak and heartaches.
I don't like to be in a triangle, so do you.

After that TEST, i really don't know what to do,
or how else should i feel.
All my short-comings and being such a jerk
despite trying my best, i apologize to you.
And all the heart i've given to you and that
you dont feel is enough, i'm sorry that i'm
unable to give you enough.

Guess i'll never find someone whom would trust
me even if i'm not worth it.
HAHAS that'll be unless "God is a girl" !!

Whatever it is,
i sincerely wish for the best in your life
and that you'll never find a jerk like me
anymore.
May God bless you and guides you to your
True one.




.emo king is back.

Yet another day.

Time really flies...
I find that as i get older time is really speeding up!
Hmmmm... Have been abit slacked for the past 2 weeks
training. This week pump up a little standard, aiming
for breakthrough in this area as well.

NS letter still havent send me a letter regarding when
am i gonna enlist! (slowpokes!)
One thing for sure it's definitely this year.
I also realized my english standard dropped! Count myself
lucky still able to remember some BOMBASTIC words like..
"BOMBASTIC" (-.-)

I'm still working in the warehouse at Pasir Panjang.
Life's alright, work is fine, training still going on,
still breathing, friends still alive, Church still shines.

Relationship wise is always in a mess, guess most probably
due to my bad habit of being half-hearted.
Well it's not an habit to be easily overcome, especially for me!
It's been with me ever since im in secondary one!.
I'm really trying to change that though...
I do find my temper getting worst as well :
"what you desire is what you will be."
I find that this few months all i wanted to do was to train,
get fit, get stronger, wanna start fighting/sparring around
to get myself closer to my dream of becoming a champion in the
area of martial arts. Due to this thinking, depressing and
pressuring thoughts came, getting really impatient about my
goal and it leads to bad temper! Small matters or big matters
all i think of is get ready for a fight!
Hahas on this area i'll have to re-tune my mindset that's for
sure.

Easter day is coming! It's gonna be holiday and church is gonna
be really busy! Friday to Sunday totally wont be free!
Helping out with the Hostel event, trying to bring my friends for
the drama as well. Hopefully they will come!
Cellgroup is great, everyone is ready for this busy weekend and
everyone is just going all out!
Really looking forward to these 3 days.

The week seems to be alright,
the only bad thing is that Friday is Easter no work,
then changed to SATURDAY! (-.-)

That's about me for now,
When time permits i'll post soon.
Takecares all~

Again.

Recently these song has been running in my head again and again.
Something about the song...captivated me.

Hmmmmm...
Recently i have been working out, slimmed a little can say. :P
Currently waiting for NS letter, definitely enlisting this year though.
Working part-time in a warehouse, low pay as always.

i guess this are mostly the things i can say.. for now bahs..
Enjoy the song ;D

What the heck anyways...

It's been so long since i really wanna blog.
I even forgot my blog address !! >.<
What the heck anyways...

Finally got the mood to post something,
better do it quick. Past few times always
ran outta mood halfway through,
Not gonna happen TODAY!
Well...What the heck anyways..

I've also been thinking alot recently,
i think too much to the extend that even
I myself knows i'm thinking too much >.<
What the heck anyways...

What i'm about to share is very personal !

For two times i've been into a relationship,
and for this two times i've given all my heart.
I'm not asking for anything from anyone,
not asking much from anyone. It just seems that
when everything comes to an end, it's just
like that... Nothing.
I've never seem to be that something deep in
your heart, it just seemed like my love is
only that much to you...
I know i may not be somebody who can spend
money like water,can be there anytime anywhere.
i know i may not be good-looking and etc..
All i know is that i've given my whole heart
into it, and it doesnt seem to be appreciated
very much.
Aiya What the heck anyways...

Nobody owes me any sorry and i dont need no
sorry. I love out of my own will and i do not
regret it,and will not regret it.

I suddenly remembered this question..
you asked me :"To be love or be love ...
which one do you think is more better/blessed ?"
And awhile ago after me and Jess broke up,
my dad told me:"It is always better to BE LOVE,
then to love someone."
For a short while i thought to myself,
IT's TRUE! but not...
I remembered my answer to Jess before..i said
"It is more blessed/better to Love then to be Love."

And it will never change no matter how many failed
relationships i have to go through...
May God help me remain strong in this sentence and
that no matter what happens, i'll never forget it.

Now my life is just dead...
Christmas no longer means anything...
Grrrr...What the heck anyways.
Nobody will even know my blog lahs >.<

WHAT THE HECK!!!
so be it...

My only last request.

Back awhile ago, i'm still wondering if i did the right thing.
Now i know, It was the right thing to do.

I don't need to know what other people think about it,
I don't need people to know my heart,
all i cared about was you and only you alone.
I just feel broken on how you see my heart,
i thought i had been doing good for you,
i always thought my heart of sincerity and love,
you always felt,but now i guess not...


it doesnt really matter now coz it happens all the time.

I sincerely hope that things will turn out better
for you.

i won't expect anyone to believe my heart and my words,
but even you don't...

That's it

Dont ask me to take part anymore lah ok?
I wish all the best for your talent showcase,
jiayou.

i know it's always been me,
me
me
me
me
me
me
me
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Aiya i too sian to think of everything lahs,
wadeva bad things also me,
wadeva good things dont have me,
i think if this is part of moulding process,
then im destined to be a psycho.